Ok. So I' laying here, having some smoke. I want pastries. But I'm not hungry. It's a lie. Because while I was out, still around people, not freaking out about being alone, I wasn't hungry....

So I'm not gonna eat. The craving is a lie. I don't NEED it.

That being said, I do need a plan. So I came up with one while I as in the shower. And I'm gonna try it for the next week... I am going to eat two meals a day, each about 500 calories, with lots of vegetables, proteins, and healthy fats... then drink one drink, every hour, from 5 pm to 2 am... with a maximum of two beers. The rest has to vodka.

This will bring me to about 1800 calories for the day, which, combined with a daily yoga routine, should be good.

I also hope to start eating earlier in the day, having a rule of no more food after 10 pm.

I'm aware that this is not the healthiest life style plan, but you have no idea where I'm coming from at the same time... I think that this could work. So I'll see how a week of this goes.

I did alright today. I ate some spaghetti squash that I made, mixed with zuchini, peppers, spinach, onions, mushrooms, salsa, chicken, a bit of oil, garlic salt, pepper, paprika, oregano, and basil....

I had two beers while cooking and cleaning.

And then 3 shots of vodka at the bar. So, that comes to about 1,020 calories.

Maybe I should eat some more spaghetti squash, like with tuna... I should be at atleast 1600 calories, and not over 1900.

I have to make sure that I don't restrict.

I read this thing today about common pitfalls that occur after one reaches there goal weight... And it said that restricting leads to binging.

It also said that not having a challenge leads to old habits creeping back in. The proposed solution for those who have reached their goal weight was to get involved in something that will keep them fit and healthy. The author used her taking up cycling as a hobby for an example.

I guess I should take yoga a step further, on that token... I just really don't know how. But I figure, stick with it as a daily practice, and keep it in mind.

My calories are now up to 1,260. I am eating an apple and greek yogurt. I have had enough spaghetti squash for today.

See ya soon.